Snapshots Of Love
by InkWeaverabc
Summary: "I've been dying a little bit each day since you came back into my life." Basically moments from the 2nd and 3rd films between Padme and Anakin, from her POV. All under 200 words, or nearly. Anakin/Padme. Reviews are always welcome. Complete, finally!
1. Chapter 1

I recognise Obi-wan the moment he enters the room. He has grown a beard, and his hair is longer, but it is unmistakeably him. I know even more surely when he turns and greets me in the light, lilting tones that I remember so well. Oh yes, that is Obi-wan, but this? Can this be Anakin? This tall, handsome young man who stands behind him? "Ani?" I ask, and the incredulity I feel makes itself clear in my voice. He nods, and swallows. For a moment, I don't believe it, but then a cold voice of reason sweeps away the doubts. _What? Did you think he'd stay a little boy for ever? It's been ten years, you know… _I know it's true, but I can't help scanning the face for something to connect him to that sweet little boy I knew all those years ago.


	2. Chapter 2

"But I am grown-up." Anakin stands, turning to face me, to stand over me. It strikes me for the first time just how tall he has grown. "You said so yourself." He is close, to close for comfort, and his eyes, incredible deep blue pools framed by thick lashes stare into mine, intense, meaningful. He is staring too hard, too close, and suddenly I am a little scared. I look down, look away, anything to break the gaze.

"Don't look at me like that." I manage, looking back at him. He tilts his head, ever so slightly.

"Why not?" his voice is deep and quiet.

"It's making me uncomfortable." I inform him in my sharpest tone. A slight smile curves his lips, and I turn on my heel and march to the other end of the room. I pause there, and behind me I hear him speak.

"Sorry, mi'lady." He says quietly, but is there a hint of amusement in his tone? I can't tell. I pick up something else to pack, for something to do, trying to make sense of what just happened, and wondering why my heart is beating so very fast.


	3. Chapter 3

"It must be difficult to have sworn your life to the Jedi. Not to able to do the things you like…"

"Or be with the people that I love?" Anakin says softly, his eyes fixed in mine. How did he get such beautiful eyes? _Don't think like that Padme, don't go there…_my conscience warns me, but I ignore it. I can't help smiling back, despite what he has just said… or the way he said it. Still, I could have sworn the Jedi weren't allowed to love, and I say so.

"Are you allowed to love? I thought that was forbidden for a Jedi." Anakin looks down, a slightly embarrassed grin on his face.

"Romantic love is forbidden for a Jedi. Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love is central to the Jedi way of life. So you could say that we are encouraged to love." _Hmmm._ Maybe, but I'm not convinced.

**A.N Um, anyone there? I would actually like a review, you know, just to see if anyone's actually reading it...**


	4. Chapter 4

I smile, leaning against the stone balcony as I smell the lake breeze.

Anakin is talking, answering me. "I don't like sand. It's rough, and scratchy, and it gets everywhere." He pauses, then begins again. "But not here. Here everything is soft…And smooth." As I turn to look up at him, his hand touches my bare arm. Alarm bells go off in my head but as my eyes meet his, they fade. I can barely hear them. His eyes stare into mine, captivating me, drawing me in. I can't move. His hand moves along my arm, across my shoulder and my back. I can't help it. I lean forward, and kiss him.

I can feel his hand at my back, his lips pressed on mine and my head is ringing. I shut my eyes as pure joy races through me, setting my blood on fire.

_What am I doing?_

Suddenly, I break off and turn away, gasping for breath.

"No!_"_

I can't. I mustn't. He's a _Jedi._ My heart is beating so fast I feel like it will burst out of my chest, but I manage somehow to keep my voice even.

"I'm sorry. I should not have done that."


	5. Chapter 5

A stab of alarm goes through me as seconds pass and he doesn't move.

I run forward, my skirt flapping against my legs. The creatures scatter, grunting in panic, but I don't heed them. Anakin isn't moving. I reach him, falling to my knees, grabbing his shoulders, rolling him over, but as I do, I realise he is laughing. He convulses with mirth, and I laugh too, part outrage, part relief bubbling up in me.

He grabs my shoulders back, rolling me over and over with him in the sweet smelling grass. It scratches my face, but the flowers are soft, dusting my nose with their pollen.

Slowly we stop moving and I am lying over him, straddling him. Our faces are very close. I can feel his breath on my face, so close I could count his eyelashes. I am very, very aware that I am lying on top of him, and I feel my cheeks heat, flushing red. He smiles gently, and rolls me off.


	6. Chapter 6

I stand, turning to walk across the room. The heat of the fire bathes my face. I can feel Anakin's eyes on me and am I suddenly conscious of my bare shoulders, the low neckline of my corset. I wish I hadn't worn this dress, I really wish I hadn't worn it… But what's done is done. I cannot change the choices I have made, just as the words Anakin is spilling out cannot be taken back. In some ways I wish he hadn't spoken, but I know its better this way. We need to know where we stand. The scene by the lake cannot be repeated. The kiss… _no, don't think about the kiss, Padme._ But Anakin has no such thought.

"I am haunted by the kiss you should never have given me." He thinks he's haunted? I wish I could tell him how much that kiss has haunted me. The nights I have lain awake, sobbing over what I know can never be. His eyes bore into mine, accusing, pleading, beseeching. I can't bear it, and I look away.


	7. Chapter 7

I can't sleep. My room is hot, my pillow is lumpy, my head throbs. But I know all that is just an excuse. I can't sleep because I'm agitated. Because I have rejected Anakin, and my heart is crying out within me.

The barest hint of a breeze wafts through the open window, causing the curtains to flutter. I sit up, rubbing a hand across my sweaty forehead. I need to move around a bit. Maybe that will settle me. Maybe.

I have to pass Anakin's room to go down the long corridor, and as I slip quietly past his door, I stop. I can hear his voice from inside. He's groaning, crying out in his sleep. Another nightmare. The pain and fear in his voice cuts to my heart. I wish I could go in. take him in my arms and comfort him as I did when he was a boy. But I can't. Not after this evening. Nothing would induce me to go into that room, and yet there is nothing I want more.

I pause in the corridor for another second, but then move on down the passage, my feet making no noise on the carpeted floor.


	8. Chapter 8

It must have rained in the small hours, after I finally got to sleep. The morning is fresh and cool; the stone courtyard overlooking the lake is damp.

Anakin is tense, I can tell by the set of his shoulders, his rigid stance. I look at his back for a while, wish I could go and hug him. His nightmare is bothering him, I can tell. After a moment, I turn to go, but he stops me.

"Don't go." I didn't even know he knew I was there.

"I didn't want to disturb you."

"Your presence is soothing." _Soothing? Last night I tormented your soul and this morning my presence is soothing?_ But I stay all the same. And as Anakin tells me of nightmares, and tells me what he has to do, I listen. He's not trying to get me to do what he wants; he's not trying to woo me or spout his passion like he was last night. He's just telling me what he knows he has to do. And as I listen, I know what I have to do as well.


	9. Chapter 9

**I'm back! sorry it's been so long. Last night I was babysitting, and I watched most of films 2 and 3 (Yes, really!) so I'm all fired up to write again! More to follow soon, hopefully!**

Hot dust catches in my throat as I step down to the street. The sun beats down on my back through the velvet travelling cloak, and a host of memories assail me, making be blink.

_A boy with blond hair and an open, honest face, and large, clear blue eyes. I liked his face, even then. 'Are you an angel?' 'No.' _

We're back here again, the exact same place. I never thought I'd come back here, but I have.

There's that strange creature again, tinkering with something outside the dusty shop. The very same. A little older, maybe, a little more wrinkled, but it's hard to believe ten years have passed. I squeeze Anakin's hand slightly as he steps forward, and he squeezes back before letting go. I can feel his anxiety, now we are so close. What will he find?


	10. Chapter 10

The faces around the table are all the same. Different features, but all the same, made the same by the expression. Grief. Pain…sadness… anguish. Owen's face is set, his jaw is rigid. Beru's eyes are wide and filled with tears. Every word is an effort for Clieg. He pauses again with a deep breath before going on. His face is rugged and weathered by the desert wind, but the lines are deepened today by sorrow.

And Anakin. Just looking at him cuts my heart. The worst we expected to find, but this? Not this. Not the news that his mother has been gone for a month, captured by sand people, most likely dead. This is what he's been dreaming about. His nightmares have been leading him to this. I can hardly look at him. His face is twisted, his eyes tortured. It's even harder for him to hear this than it is for Cleig to tell it.

"I'm going to find my mother." I hear it as if from far away, and he's out of the house before my brain can persuade my legs to support me, before I can stand, or run after him.


	11. Chapter 11

The two suns are setting; casting shadows a mile long over the deserts sands. For a moment it blinds me as I come out of the house, putting up a hand to shield my eyes. Has he gone? Am I too late? No… not too late.

"Anakin!"

"You'll have to stay here, Padme. These are good people, you'll be safe." His eyes meet mine, but they're dull, empty. He hardly cares what he's saying.

"Oh…Anakin!" I step forward and reach out and he pulls me to him, hugging me tight. He's tense, his shoulders set. He's trembling. I let go and pull back.

"I won't be long."

And then he's gone, swung onto his pod and speeding away. In less than a minute he has vanished over the horizon.

I don't how long I stand there staring after him. It's nearly dark when Beru comes out of the little low house and touches my arm.

"Come on, Padme." I just look at her. The lump in my throat won't let me speak. "It's no good just standing here, you can't help him now. Come inside."

So I follow her back into the house, and sit at the table and stare into the distance, silently. Beru makes us all something hot to drink. I don't know what it is.

No-one speaks.


	12. Chapter 12

"He's back." Owen's voice is grim, but it precipitates a rush of movement towards the door. It's a strange feeling, and I know everyone else feels it too, a desperate desire to see and at the same time, a horrible reluctance. We want to know, but can't bear to look.

Cleigg is ahead of me, Beru pushing his wheelchair, and even before I get to the door I know what I'll see. I can tell by the way his shoulders sink and Beru flinches. I know there's only one person on the hovercraft.

One person and a corpse. Anakin cradles in his arms a body wrapped in cloth. His shoulders are tense and his face is closed, dark, empty. His mouth is set in a grim line. We're all staring, but he meets my eyes only once, glancing up as he passes. I flinch. I can't help it. There's something in his eyes that I don't understand, but it feels like a physical blow. Something's changed.

What happened to him, out there in the desert?

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and encouraged me to continue. I know this story is not the easiest to read, as I update it so rarely, so many thanks for the persevearance! **


	13. Chapter 13

Anakin is fixing something. I don't know what. His face is still closed, and whatever was there before is still there, scaring me. But I go to him anyway, taking some of the strange drink that Beru makes, and some things that look like biscuits.

"I brought you something. Are you hungry?" He doesn't seem to hear me. He doesn't look at me, but still down at his hands, at whatever it is he's fixing.

"The shifter broke. Life seems so much simpler when you're fixing things. I'm good at fixing things. Always was. But I couldn't..." he voice cracks, and he finally looks me in the face. He doesn't need to finish the sentance. I understand. _You couldn't fix her._

"Why'd she have to die? Why couldn't I save her? I know I could have!" He turns and stares at the wall, his back to me. The anguish in his voice tears at my heart, but I have to keep it together, for his sake. He needs me right now.

"Sometimes there are things no-one can fix." I say. I don't know how much I'm helping, but i'm doing my best, I'm trying.

"You're not all-powerful-"

"Well I should be!" His voice has changed. It's not pain any more, it's anger. Anger is the overriding emotion that blocks out everything else. I can't speak.

"One day I will be. I will be the most powerful Jedi ever!" He turns to face me, resolution written all over his face. "I promise you, I will even learn to stop people from dying!"

My mouth is hanging open, I can't help it. "Ani-"

"It's all Obi-wan's fault! He's jealous, he's holding me back!" The simmering anger suddenly boils to the surface and he's shouting. He turns and hurls the tool in his hand at the wall. My heart is beating hard. I'm scared, I can't help it. The Something Wrong has welled up and suddenly it's everything about him, in his face, in his voice, in his eyes.

This is more than grief. I force myself to ask, even though I'm scared of the answer. "What's wrong, Ani?"

"I... I killed them. I killed them all. They're dead... every single one of them." He turns and looks me in the eye. His face is streaked with tears, but his mouth is set in a hard line. I can't move, I can't breathe. What's happened to my Ani?

"And not just the men, but the woman, and the children to. They're like animals and I slaughtered them like animals. I hate them!" He's shouting again, but all of a sudden the anger falls away, and it's just pain, just helpless sadness. He sits down and lays his head on his knees.

I sit beside him, and put an arm round his shoulders, and he cries.

**A.N. i am having some confusion here. What i've been spelling 'Ani' is it right? A lot of people seem to think it should be 'Anie'. What do you guys think?**


	14. Chapter 14

**A.N. I'm sorry guys, I didn't say… the last one was really long! I didn't notice at the time, but sorry anyway. I'm trying to make them under 200 words.**

My heart is beating in my chest like I've just run a sprint, but it's not because I am about to die. I am really very calm on that score. It is because of one thought that spins through my head. I can't avoid it. I'm not sure I want to. But I have no choice.

It's now, or never.

"I've been dying a little bit each day since you came back into my life." It's an incredible relief to say what I've wanted to say for so long. It's like I've been lying to myself for all this time. But I can't do that any more.

"What do you mean?"

A deep breath.

Now or never.

_Now._

"I love you." I've dreamt of saying those words for so long. I've cried myself to sleep for so many nights because I thought I would never be able to say them.

Three little words.

But they have such power.

"You love me?" I want to laugh, hug him, but I can't. I can only speak. That's all we have now, words. So I tell him, and finally, I don't have to hide it any more, and he bends his head to kiss me, as we are pushed out into the sudden brightness of the arena.

_How is it possible? _How can one person be both perfectly happy and desperately sad at the same time?

But it is possible.

Because I am.


	15. Chapter 15

This isn't how I imagined my wedding day. When I was little, I dreamt of a beautiful white wedding dress, of Sulu and mother helping me to put it on, to arrange my veil and brush out my hair. I pictured all the guests waiting, getting to their feet as I appeared. I thought of my father, his face shining with pride to give me away to my bridegroom.

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I'd be marrying a Jedi knight on a deserted Naboo beach, with no-one but a monk to marry us and two silent droids to watch the ceremony. I don't know whether I'm overjoyed or horrified, excited or sad. I can't tell. I suppose I'm all of them, and more. But only time will tell which feeling is right.

The light from the setting sun slants downwards, lighting on the water like it's caught fire. My breath catches in my throat as Anakin lifts the veil to kiss me. I'm married. There's no going back now. We've passed the point of no return. But somehow, as I kiss him back, I realise: We crossed that line a long time ago.


	16. Chapter 16

**A.N. Nightmare situation with my computers right now... The laptop's not working at all. And I'd written so many future chapters... I loved them! I really, really, really hope we get it fixed. Or I've- and you've- lost them forever. I'll have to re-write them, and they wont be as good, I'm sure... *gloom*  
But hey. You've got this chapter, here, now. That's something. I know it's not technically an Anakin/Padme moment, but it really is a pivotal point in their relationship, so it had to be here. I hope I did it justice :)**

I sit slumped against the wall, cradling my head in my hands. The power of coherent thought seems to have deserted me for a time.

_Pregnant._

_Alright, _says my practical side, the side that controls the senator in me. _I can handle this. It'll just a take a little care and planning. _

_Pregnant, _says my other side, the wild, emotional, romantic side, the side that is Anakin's wife. _A _baby_. Anakin's baby._

_Pull yourself together, Padme. Now._

If only Anakin was here. But he's not. He's in the outer reaches, with Obi-Wan, keeping peace there, and I don't know when he'll be back.

_If_ he'll be back.

I squeeze my eyes tight shut as if I can push away the fears. _No, Padme, don't- don't think like that! He'll be fine. He _is_ fine. _

I press a hand against my stomach. Is it my imagination, or is it already swelling slightly?

_This baby will have a good life_, I swear to myself, filled with a sudden, feirce resolve. And a father. That will do to begin with.

**I don't like the end, but never mind. I'll be going away on holiday soon, so it might be a while before the next chapter. Just to warn you! :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey Guys, I'm back! Who missed me, hmm? Oh, go ahead and read the chapter. You know you want to. ;)**

Why is it so hard to stand still and just look? Standing still should be the easiest thing, but I'm clenching my fists and gritting my teeth to keep myself immobile. Standing here, in the shadow of the pillar, no-one will notice me. This is how I want it. Everyone- including me- has their attention focused on the handsome young man with curly hair, deep blue eyes and a carefree laugh, the young man who has just saved the life of one of the most powerful men in the Galaxy, Senator Palpatine.

_Anakin._

He's here. Here, safe, alive. And soon I will be able to hold him again, kiss him, and feel his arms around me. Tell him my news. _Our _news.

A very, very slight fear stirs at the back of my mind. How will he react? With joy? Consternation? What if it's too much for him to handle?

But I can't dictate how he feels. That's not within my control. I can only trust him. So I push the fear away, and remain in the shadows at the sidelines, watching. Drinking in the sight of him. Anakin. My Anakin, home again.


	18. Chapter 18

He runs, reaches me and throws his arms around me. I hug him back and, wrapped in his arms, I feel completely safe again. He's here. We're both safe, both alive. Together. I didn't know how tense I'd been until it all flows away, caught in his embrace.

"Anakin…" "Padme…" "I've missed you…" "Safe…" "I'm here now…" "I love you…" "Love you…"

Finally we pull back slightly, staring at each other, drinking in the sight. "There were whispers… that you'd been killed." I don't know why I'm saying it now. Perhaps it's a desire to show him how hard it's been for me, how much I've missed him.

"I'm alright." He smiles at me, that wonderful smile I've missed so much. "It feels like we've been apart for a lifetime." Oh, it does. It does. I think I'm going to cry, so I swallow hard. "And we might have been. If the chancellor hadn't been kidnapped, I don't think they would have ever brought us back from the out reaches." His voice is husky, and he pulls me to him again, to kiss me. I catch sight of a figure from the corner of my eye. It's no-one I know, but it reminds me where we are.

"Not here…"

"Yes, here! I'm tired of all this deception, I don't care if they know we're married-"

"Anakin, don't say things like that!" But before I can stop I've allowed myself to picture what that might be like – what if we didn't have to be so secret the whole time? No, never mind that now. There's something more important to worry about now.

"You're trembling. What's going on?" He looks at me with concern in his eyes. I take a deep breath.

"Something wonderful has happened. I'm pregnant."


	19. Chapter 19

**A.N. Oh, I forgot to say. The laptop was saved (for now- not sure how long it will last!) and the future chapters were salvaged. So rejoice with me, I have found my lost chapters! (that was biblical, but if you don't get it, don't worry...)**

This is what happiness feels like, I think; real, true happiness.

Here, I realise that everything that came before pales in comparison with this overwhelming joy. Even the thought of what we are going to do about the jedi council, the senate, my family, Obi-wan... everyone... cant dull this feeling.

Me, here, with Anakin.

I pull the brush through my hair and lean on the wall, gazing out over the city. It's lights shine like the stars in the galaxy itself.

"I want to have our baby back on Naboo." A little thrill goes through me at the words. _Our baby._

I turn and look at him, leaning against the door-frame and smiling gently at me, almost lazily. He looks impossibly handsome, and once again the incredible happiness bubbles up inside me and I can't keep a wide grin from spreading across my face.


	20. AN

**Much overdue announcement, I'm afraid to say…**

**Yes. This has been going on a while, and I think I should probably have told you quite a long time ago, but anyway. I think I should make it official. Here goes and apologies again…**

**This story is (now officially) on temporary hiatus to allow me to focus on my Inheritance Cycle story, Princess of Fire and Ice. Hopefully not for very long, depending on how long it takes me to get to the end of Brisingr. **

**And now I can stop feeling guilty for continuing to neglect you all! That is a relief. :)**


	21. Chapter 21

**A.N. Hi everyone :) Sorry to keep all waiting so long, but I'm back now. It's starting to get a bit dark now… Not sure whether that's good or bad from a writing point of view. Ah, well. Enjoy.**

I wake in the dead of night, with one thing certain in my mind.

_Something is wrong._

It takes me another few seconds to work out what. Anakin is gone. But his side of the bed is still warm, so he can't have been gone long.

_What's wrong? _I wonder as I sit up. I don't have to wonder any more – I can see him slipping round a corner down the corridor, wrapped in a dark dressing gown. I pull on a gown and a pair of slippers and stand up. Whatever's wrong with him, I need to help. That's what marriage is for, right? If he needs me, I'm there for him.

Soundlessly, I follow him down the passage. He's bent over, his back ridged, and as he turns to me, I see that his brows are drawn together in pain, or anger, or something else – something I can't identify. What's the matter with him?

Slowly, I come and stand beside him. He doesn't look at me but keeps his eyes straight ahead.

"What's bothering you?"

"Nothing."

Finally, he turns to look at me, smiling like it's true, nothing really is wrong, but it's so clearly forced it scares me a little. He touched the pendant around my neck.

"I remember when I gave this to you."

"How long will it be until we're honest with each other?"

The question hangs in the air. How long?

Forever?


	22. Chapter 22

The sun hangs low above the city, casting its warm golden light across the room. The sun shone like this on Naboo, the day we were married. A different sun, of course. But it shone the same way, and suddenly the strength of the memory brings a hard lump to my throat.

Anakin stares out of the window, shoulders bowed. There are lines in his face that weren't there that day, frown marks between his eyes, like the wrinkles in our marriage. Back then, if we talked about politics it was to tease, to wonder, not to argue. It didn't mean anything then. But he's still Anakin, and I still love him, so I go and hug him, leaning my head on his chest and feeling his arms go around me.

"Hold me." _I feel so tired._

"Like you did by the lake on Naboo." _Why so tired? Because I'm pregnant? Is that it? Or something else?_

"When there was just us... And our love... No politics, no plotting, no war..."

How long ago it seems.

**Leave a review? Just to let me know who's still reading? Please?**


	23. Chapter 23

**A.N. so I was babysitting last night, and spent most of it typing out these little drabbles… I feel quite pleased with myself. Hope you enjoy them! :D**

"Obi-wan's been here, hasn't he?" Anakin's voice is dull, tired, a little grumpy.

"He came by this morning." I' trying to my voice cheerful, but it's hard. It's so hard.

"What did he want?"

"He's worried about you." Like me. "He thinks you've been under a lot of stress."

A pause. Too long. Then,

"I feel lost."

"Lost?" Now the cheerful tone slips for real. I can't hold it any more. "What do you mean?"

"Obi-wan and the council don't trust me." He's not meeting my eyes and his voice is hard.

"They trust you with their lives." My heart is thumping. Isn't this what I wanted, for him to open up to me? So why am I feeling this panic?

"Something's happening." Is this it, what I've been trying not to be scared of, trying not to believe in? _Oh, don't let this be real..._

"I'm not the Jedi I should be. I want more, but I know I shouldn't." I don't know what to do, but I go to him and touch his arm gently.

"You expect too much of yourself. No-one's perfect." He turns to me, wrapping me in his arms.

"I found a way to save you."

"Save me?"

"From my nightmares." _What?_

"I won't lose you, Padme."

Now I'm scared. He's so intense. He so clearly believes what he is saying, and I get a flash of memory, him holding a linen-wrapped body in his arms, his face closed, his eyes dark with grief. It's true. His nightmares about his mother did come true, and now- no. I can't think like that.

"I'm not going to die in childbirth, Ani. I promise you."

"No." He stares at me. "I promise you."

**Too long, I know. But I can't really break up the conversation, so whatever. It doesn't matter. Review please!**


	24. Chapter 24

Where is Anakin? Why doesn't he come? What is going on? I'm scared. So terribly scared, but of what, I don't know. That almost makes it worse. This uncertainty eats at me. All I know for sure is that something is wrong. Very wrong. It has to do with Anakin. Sometimes it seems like everything in my life has something to do with Anakin. Maybe that's true, maybe not...

I cross the room to the window, staring out at the city. The setting sun has painted it bright gold, but it just seems false to me. I know the buildings aren't really gold, just a dirty grey colour.

Maybe this fear is just hormones. Maybe it's natural, because the baby is coming soon. Maybe.

I hear someone move behind me, and even as my heart jumps, I know it's not Anakin. It's C3PO, to see if I need anything. But what I need he can't bring me.

_Anakin, where are you?_

**Hey all, thanks for the reviews. I'm glad a few of you are still reading and enjoying! :D**


	25. Chapter 25

**And we're into That Night… not much longer to go now! :( **

"Anakin has gone back to the Jedi temple. Don't worry, I'm sure he'll be alright..."

Without thinking, I turn and stare out of the window over the dark city, towards Anakin.

_He'll be alright. He'll be alright._ The phrase plays over and over in my head like a mantra, but it keeps being interrupted. Questions. So many questions. Each one a weight on my chest. _Why has he gone back there? What is he doing? Why hasn't he sent me a message? What is going on?_

"Can I bring you anything?"

I feel like I have cried a river these past few days, but now I can't hold back any longer. It's all too much.

"No thank you, Threepio."

And I cry.


	26. Chapter 26

I watch Anakin fly away with a hard, heavy feeling in my chest. It's a feeling I've become all too familiar with these past few days. But only now do I feel like it has a reason I can grasp.

What's the matter with him? I saw it in his eyes again tonight, heard it in his voice, felt it in the way he kissed me. This wrongness has flitting about his for so long, since that day in the desert, the day his mother died. I thought it was grief, I thought it was anger. But now I know better.

Because something has changed tonight. I don't know what it is, but suddenly with blinding certainty I know - there is no going back.

"Well, he has been under a lot of stress." Says C3PO, sounding vaguely bemused.

_Oh, Threepio. If only it were that simple. If only._

**A.N. Four chapters in one day! How awesome am I, huh? Doesn't that deserve a review? Really?**


	27. Chapter 27

**A.N. Belated Happy Christmas to you all :) and so, to celebrate this festive occasion, I have a lovely happy Christmassy drabble for you! Not really. Ho ho ho. Anyways, enjoy :P**

I am ridged straight, still. I can hear my heartbeat thudding in my ears and I can't move. I can hear these words, but they can't be true. My Anakin, turned to the Dark Side? Killed? Killed _younglings_?

I don't want to believe it, but somehow I know I have to. I can hear the truth in Obi-wan's voice, hear the pain this is causing him - causing me. He turns to go, then pauses, looking at me.

"Anakin's the father, isn't he?"

My hand strays to my swelling belly, but I make no other move. I don't speak. I don't need to. He knows.

"I'm so sorry." Then he's gone. I'm alone.

**A.N. We're now getting into the stuff I wrote a long time ago, when I first had the idea for the fic. So as a lot if not all of this is already written, hopefully the updates will be coming a little more regularly :) Leave a review and tell me what you got for Christmas!**


	28. Chapter 28

**A.N. For laloga and Callidora-Malfoy, for as always leaving lovely reviews :) **

Touchdown. The ship stops, but for a moment I don't move. I can't. The head throbs, so for a second I just hold it and lean on the control panel, searching for some kind of peace.

I don't find it. The hot red glare fills my eyes and makes the headache worse.

But worse than the light and my head and even the pain in my heart is the intensity of hopelessness which has swept over me. I'm sure, suddenly, that there's nothing at all I can do. Not to save myself, not to save Anakin, not even to save the Republic.

This evil is too bit for me to contain. This is it's moment, and trying to push it back now will be like trying to push at the tide.

Futile.

Then a figure appears outside the ship, striding along with it's long black robe flapping around it.

Anakin.

So I get up and go to meet him. Because really, what else can I do?


	29. Chapter 29

The heat hits me like a physical blow as the door opens, but a moment later I've forgotten it entirely.

Anakin.

I run to him and hold him tight and he hold me, arms strong around me.

"What are you doing here?"

As I pull back and look at him it all comes flooding back. No. It never went away. I've just remembered it now.

"Obi-wan - told me terrible things."

"What things?"

"He said - you'd turned to the Dark Side. You'd - you'd killed younglings?" I'm crying again now, I can't help it. It's all too much, it's too awful, and I'm so confused. I can't think. I can't do anything except fear, hurt and hold on to hope.


	30. Chapter 30

**A.N. Pfffff, so much for regular updates. The chapters are written, but putting them up - is that so hard, Inkie? Apparently so. Ah well, enjoy. :) Or not.  
**

I am in a horrible dream. For a second I really believe that. This can't be true! How can my Anakin be saying these horrible things?

"I don't believe what I'm hearing." My voice is trembling and I realise that I am very close to screaming. "Obi-wan was right! You'e changed."

Anakin turns and looks me straight in the eyes, and it's the worst thing he's done so far. His eyes - Oh, help me, his eyes. The eyes that used to be so beautiful. Dark and merciless and evil. His voice is low and cold.

"I don't wat to hear any more about Obi-wan." He steps closer and I want to run but it's like I'm stuck, I can't move, paralised by horror.

"The Jedi turned against me, don't you turn against me!" His voice has risen to a yell and every word is like a knife in my chest because Anakin has never, ever spoken to me like this and I didn't know he could.

I shake my head and step back. Who is this man?

"I don't know you anymore! Anakin, you're breaking my heart! You're going down a path I can't follow."

He looks at me still, silent for a moment. "I'm struggling to breathe. The pain in my chest is overpowering, and I am crying but it brings no relief from the lump in my throat.

"Because of Obi-wan."

How can he be saying this? How can this be my Anakin talking? He loves Obiwan like a brother - He loves me! What is happening?

"Because of you! Because of what you've done - what you plan to do! Stop! Stop now, come back - I love you!"

"LIAR!" I stumble back. I feel like I've been hit in the face. Is he talking to me? It's like a dream. A nightmare. It's all I can do to keep from screaming and Anakin's shouting again. I don't understand. All I can do is cry out again and again - "No! No!" until I cant speak anymore, because I can't breathe.


	31. Chapter 31

He lifts his hand, staring at me. I can't breathe. Black spots are clouding my vision. Everything is going blurry. I can just see Anakin now, turning away, lowering his hand. I fall backwards, away from him, into darkness.

As the blackness swallows everything, I cling to one thought, pushing away everything else.

This is not my Anakin.

This monster is not my husband. Anakin is gone.

But I can't – mustn't – won't let that be true. There must be something of the real Anakin left, somewhere. He can't be gone, not forever.

Because if I've lost him, lost my darling, truly lost him forever…

Then I have lost everything.


	32. Chapter 32

**A.N. Woah, now we are **_**really**_** going back! I think this was one of the original drabbles, one of the ones I wrote when I first had the idea for the story. And now the end is coming… :(**

They say when you are dying you see your life flashing before you. I am dying. I know it. I can feel my life-strength draining away, but I do not see my life. I see faces. Mother, Father, Sola, friends and enemies past and present. They are fading. Obi-wan. He's not fading. Why is he there? I was thinking of… who was I thinking of? Why is Obi-wan here? Is it really him? Yes. He's real. He's here. I hear his voice as if from far away.

"It's a boy,"

He is holding… He is holding a baby. My baby. I have to name him. My last act before my life is snuffed out like a candle. I know what to say, I have thought about this moment so much, but I never imagined it like this. The word takes a while to get to my mouth.

"Luke…" He brings him up to near my head. My little boy. And the pain overtakes me.

Obi-wan again. How long has it been? "It's a girl."

"Leia…" My beautiful girl. The girl I have wanted all my life. But I won't be there to see it. To see her grow up. When she needs me, I won't be there. Won't be there to hold her when she can't sleep, or comfort her when she cries, or watch her shine. Either of them. Their story is one I will not witness.

I am falling fast. Obi-wan's face is fading, moving back into blackness.

One last face. The only face, really. The only face there ever was. His face. I don't know where the strength comes from, but I dredge up the words from somewhere.

"Obi-wan…there's good in him. I know there's…"

It's over.

**A.N. Hold your horses everyone, it's not the end yet… a little little little bit more to go still!**


	33. Chapter 33

_A funeral procession winds its way through the silent streets of Theed, capital of Naboo. A young woman is dead. Lining the roads are the people of Naboo, dressed in black. Behind her coffin walks a small crowd, heads down, tears standing in their eyes. Some are weeping openly, but most just look hopeless. None speak._

_Her thick, curly brown hair flows over her shoulders, scattered with tiny silver flowers that look like stars. She is dressed in a deep blue gown and her hands are clasped over her distorted belly, still clearly showing the signs of her recent pregnancy. Her eyes are closed, and her face is peaceful. Death has erased the agony, the cut to the heart, the deep stab of pain that life dealt her at the last. She might almost be sleeping. But she isn't, she is dead._

_Padme Amidala, senator of the Galactic Senate and ex-queen of Naboo, is dead. But this is more than just her funeral. It is somehow, in the minds of the mourners, a funeral of democracy, a funeral of peace and freedom. With her has died an era. With one senator has died the power of the whole Senate, and the Galaxy is ruled by one man only. One madman controlled by evil. The Dark Side reigns._

_The lid of the coffin falls with a muffled boom, cutting her off. Padme Amidala is no more._

**A.N. Not even quite yet… one more, so on you go! :)**


	34. Chapter 34

**A.N. So… we come to the end. I'll save my stuff for the end, and I hope you enjoy this last one. **

And yet. Far away, a baby girl wakes with a cry. She beats her tiny fists against the silk pillows of her little bed, and a woman hurries to the side of her cot, reaching out to pick her up. The little girl snuggles into the shoulder of the woman she will come to know as 'mother'. Her huge dark eyes close in contentment, and the woman who is not her mother lays her back in the beautiful cot.

At almost the same instant, on another world many thousands of miles away, another child is stirring. His cot has nothing like the elegance of the baby girl's. It is a rough construction, thrown together hastily out of boards and cloth rags. But when he cries, the young woman who picks him up holds him just as tenderly as the little girl is held, and the young man sitting at the table in the simple cottage looks at her with love.

Night is falling. The young woman in her plain dress rocks the fretful baby, carrying him to the door to show him the amazing sight that is the twin sunset over the desert of Tatooine. It is a sight he will fall asleep to for many nights to come, as he grows from a baby into a boy, and then into a man. The baby's eyes widen at the sky, and then slowly close. He sleeps, with the contented sigh of a well-fed, well-loved baby on his lips.

It will be many years. Many years while the two babies grow up. Long, dark years. Padme is dead, the black metal mask has closed over the face of the being who had once been Anakin Skywalker, and darkness reigns. But one day, things will change. One day, the galaxy will remember. Because hope has not died. Hope never dies. And one day, it will return.

**A.N. I was going to end this with Padme's funeral, but I decided I couldn't. It was too despairing. I wanted to end with hope shining through the darkness still, so I wrote this, and I loved writing it, and I love the finished result.**

**And you know what… I'm going to thank you all individually. I feel that great. :)**

**So, in no particular order, to laloga, Lucky's Girl, SilverTongueabc, Darth-Taisha, sodorland, IBG, TheAngelofIego (Still love that name so much!) Rachie81, Omamori,****Lindethiel, Thisby Solo, SabreDae, Draco Lucis, and last but not least, Callidora-Malfoy, who reviewed every single chapter! **

**That, of course, is just everyone who has reviewed when I post this chapter. Anyone else that has reviewed since then, I am just as grateful to you! So thank you to all of you who have reviewed (and will, maybe!): You have been just amazing. PADME/ANAKIN FOREVER!**


End file.
